The Make-Up Issue Part#3

What is it -really- To Do Better?? My parents always tell me that I can do better in almost every aspect of my life, but they also see that what I do and have done in my life is something they can feel proud of. They understand that what they think is best does not necessarily mean is what I think is best... basically, they just want to see me happy, whatever that means for ME. Sometimes there are criticisms and disagreements, but what mostly exists is understanding and respect for one another. The idea of happiness is not the same for everyone ... I feel lucky to have had people in my family that, as long as I did no wrong to others, allowed me To Be... Benito Juarez, Mexican president in the 1800, said "Among individuals as among nations, respect for the rights of others is peace" This is one of my favorites quotes!! "...respect for the rights of others..." This is wisdom.

I know He (Mr. P) wanted me to Do Better, to Be Better... unfortunately it had to be what HE thought was better, meaning; I needed to continue learning IMPORTANT things, and this, my friends, it also meant what He thought was important... Me wanting to pursue a career in Makeup (we discussed it) was not going to make me better and was not important... And I could go on and on with different examples like this one; bottom line, he wanted to control the reins of my life, without considering what made ME happy. I felt cornered, actually , WAS cornered...

Have you ever tried to trap a mouse? It runs and runs as long as It sees a way out, but once cornered, it attacks you!... it is actually trying to jump over you... that little thing, over you!
That´s what happened to me; I realized that no matter how much I compromised something else was going to come up. He was a bottomless barrel, like we say in Mexico, never satisfied...

The Make-Up Issue Part#2

When you are in a relationship you compromise. The problem with compromising is when one person happen to be the one doing it all the time... Makeup was first, shoes came next and clothes followed. I would often ask Him why... It was not like one day I wanted to look like Amy Winehouse! (clearly I am just referring to her overall appearance because I would love to have her musical gift). Still, I compromised thinking that in the end of the day; I was going to wear something out of my closet... but that was just the foundation for what followed. There was always something to complain about me: the type of books I like to read (particularly the ones with pink covers), the fact that I am not passionate about politics, the "too much free time" that the airline gives me, my "mediocre" part time job (which I got after a major fight about my "free time"), me wanting to have an easy going life... sometimes He would apologize and criticize himself for being so hard on me, sometimes would say "you are wasting your potential; I can see you doing great things..." I guess His apologies/comments made me believe He was really trying to be a better person (realizing He was being a pain in the butt), and that He just wanted me to see/believe that I could also be a better person/Do Better...

The Make-Up Issue Part#1

For an ex-model/actress is very refreshing to find someone who tells you that you look much more beautiful without make-up. Before I was a Flight Attendant the fashion/show business was my profession. Started modeling when I was 16 and by 20 graduated from one of the most competitive acting schools in Mexico. Every year about six thousand people apply, six hundred get to audition and only 60 get accepted. The secret? You have to have the looks they think could work on T.V and/or connexions.
After being in this circle for ten years (Yup! I was a career money oriented person once) I appreciate -very much- not to have to worry so much about my physical appearance... the amount of make-up I still put on (see profile picture) it's just what the average woman does, a little here a little there, just enough to accentuate my best features.
In the beginning, He would say occasionally "You are so beautiful without make-up" It was a compliment really, but somehow as our relationship grew, this became a little battlefield. He started asking me not to put on so much make-up (which was not much to begin with) when going out with Him, then started telling me that He didn't like it, that He did not feel attracted to me when I looked "Done Up"... One day while I was putting on some make up for my girls night out, He finally said to me: "Every time I see you putting so much effort in something so shallow; I wonder if we are really going to work out..."