So many things have happened, so many things I've done and yet, I feel like nothing has change. I feel a little stuck. My mind feels stuck regardless of how much I've done this summer... I've made friends, lost friends, gone therapy, given up therapy, talked to psychics (I know I know!), gained weight, lost it all again, dated (quite a lot to my surprise, and not precisely the on-line dating site I joined... the site is far less fun of what I thought it was going to be), worked a lot, then a little, had lots and lots of fun (once again to my surprise, and in many many different ways...), my brother and his love stayed with me for a week (which was such a relief... family is what stays with you when everything and everyone else is gone... right?), painted my apartment over and over (let me tell you that I, literally, painted my sorrows away... and thank goodness for that!), got a new bedroom set, met someone, fixed the bathroom like three times (and you don't really wanna know about this... I'm handy!) started yoga (let's see how long will this one last) got tanned, went to the beach, went to the park, went to see Chicago (finally!), went to see Romeo and Juliet at the park, went to concerts, went to Mexico six times... and the list goes and goes. I can almost assure you that I've done much more in the past six months than what I did in one year and a half. I've surrounded myself with people and activities, and yet, I don't feel like I've moved and done so much... AND I don't even understand why I feel this way... why don't I feel like writing on my blog anymore, which gave something to look for in the past months...?
Do I need a bigger change or I need to do less but thorough...? One foot after the other? One day at the time?
What is it that I'm really looking for but I'm not finding?
-Another job?
-Another city?
-A friend?
-A bond?
-All of the above.
-None of the above.
-...???
Love? No no no no no no...
... I don't think that's in the stars... yet.
