Rewind

Do you remember the times in which you played a song over and over again so you could sing from the top of your longs and cry along with it? Well if you never did it you totally suck!! This is the ultimate way of suffering and/or getting over a lost love. It is also a way to remember something special... it is call melancholy!... Gosh! I thought my high schools years were over and here I am, playing a song, over and over again, remembering, wondering "what if..." It is a little embarrassing to admit that I kinda like this. Call me a masochistic if you like... the thing is; I really don't have a problem admitting that I have a super soft spot that I am afraid to show to people, and that is why, sometimes I have to find a place of refuge, call it the bath/shower and/or the bedroom and cry... hoping that after doing so (you know, crying, thinking, analyzing, singing along) all the things/emotions I've kept hidden from others to see, will stop being a burden... It is my way to let it all out and, hopefully, move on.

For a while therapy worked, but in all honestly I don't need it. I know exactly what is going on with me, what I want, and what I'm looking for. The things I need to work on and the things I need to recognize myself for. So that is why I had to quit the formal "doctor patient therapy" and find another/better alternative... like RETAIL THERAPY!! I figured that instead of paying someone to listen to me that, in the end, was going to say things I already know and I was better off buying pretty things for me!!... OK OK let's be realistic, it is probably not the best solution either, but MAN!! it feels sooo good to buy beautiful stuff that I don't really need but I want... like SHOES!!! A therapist would say that I am filling with shoes/stuff the emptiness I feel inside... and it's probably (surely!) true. But I already know that, and that gives me points... right?