Fast Perfect Puppy

I believe that we have become an "instant gratification" type of society. In almost everything we see and almost everywhere we go you can find examples of this: "The instant miniskirt workout", "See results in 30 days or your money back... Guaranteed!!!", "It's my money and I want it NOW!!"... And then of course we got the express line, express lane, fast food, fast relieve, all inclusive, ATM, high speed Internet, microwave, 15 min dinner, 3 min at night, etc, etc, etc. And like you I love most of this stuff. Technology -progress- has made our lives much more easier and yet, our minds seem to want/like/need complicated.

Last week Mr. P called my dad... MY DAD! If you are not Mexican you should know that calling The Father is not a slight thing to do. For us signifies more than want I can put down in words... Apparently Mr. P just wanted to find out if I was doing well since we had cut any type of communication for months. When my father, which happens to be the coolest dad in the whole wide word, called me to tell me about the brief chat; I started crying immediately. The only thing my Dad was able to tell me (we talked for about four min.) was that I should talk with Mr. P.
For two days I actually did not know what to do with that information, it was like the Pandora box broke open and I wanted to know, needed to know its contents... So I text him, offer a truce, and told him we needed to talk. In person. I'm not going to lie to you, something in my heart lit up. I've been in the dark for so long that I needed to follow this spark of light... but soon it was put out. Mr. P just wanted to stay in touch with me through e-mail, to make sure that "I'm doing well" regardless of how upset I am with him. He could not talk to me nor see me yet. He's been "missing me so much" that did not want to send me mixed messages... The so called "soul I'm in love with" can be truly cruel. When we broke up I pointed out that he liked complicated. Even simple tasks he would turned them into something. And probably this is why he was always looking for something wrong in me or to work on me... since I enjoy simple things in life and cannot function with complicated. His response? "Maybe I don't need a puppy that is going to roll over every time I say so..."

I'm not so far from Mr. P. I complicate my mind/life by wanting to be in love with his soul, by not moving on. But, with all my heart and strength I got left tell you this: I REFUSE to be his instant message gratification. I REFUSE to his forever and ever terms and conditions. I REFUSE to stay in touch with someone who is not willing and able, even if I "love" his soul...

I'm back to square one, but knowing this: I'm NO ONE'S PUPPY!!!